I have a confession. Sometimes I overreact. You know what I mean. Something happens and my response is just a leedle bit over the top. Why do I do it??
Sometimes it's because I'm tired and/or overwhelmed.
Take yesterday, for example. My 6-year old was arguing about doing his homework, my 4-year old kept changing his mind about what he wanted to watch on Netflix, my 10-year old was trying to get a snack, I was sleepy-tired, and my husband had just gotten home from work. Someone was going to do something that pushed me over the edge. It just happened to be my 4-year old that got the brunt of it when he came over to me complaining because he wanted me to put on another show for him. Ugh. I hate it when I lose my temper and yell at my child.
Sometimes it's because my emotions are raw.
Earlier this year a close friend lost her son. I have wept with her and for her many, many times since it happened. I have never seen such intense grief. Sometimes the "missing-him-right-now" hurts so much that it obscures the "I-know-I'll-see-him-again-someday" and there's nothing to feel but deep sorrow. In the year previous to that, a young mother I knew lost her infant daughter to SIDS, my brother's family lost their unborn son, and a friend's father suffered a tragic death. Sometimes I look around and life just feels so heavy with loss. Since my friend's son passed earlier this year, I find that I am particularly sensitive to feeling the grief of others. I wept for the sweet young mother I knew who placed her child for adoption. I knew it was a good choice, but I grieved for her all the same. Another family I know lost a son this week, and I find that my reaction is also more deep and intense than I expected. I ache for his family, and most especially his mother.
Sometimes it's because I'm avoiding the real issue.
Recently something happened that was very difficult for me to deal with. I was hurt and shaken by the situation. After several days of tears, prayers, and introspection, I was able to let it go and move on with my life. Unfortunately, I let it go a little too quickly. I still had unresolved feelings and questions that needed to be addressed. However, rather than acknowledge and try to resolve them, I pretended they didn't exist. I diverted those emotions towards something else (that really didn't impact me directly) and decided I was angry with someone had harmed those I loved. Now that I have worked out my other issues, I am no longer "angry" about the other situation.
He who has the most emotion invested in the problem OWNS the problem.
Ultimately, I am responsible for my own emotions and feelings. When my reactions aren't proportional to the situation at hand, I am learning to let that be a signal for me to stop, evaluate, and see what is really going on in my mind. Am I tired? Do I have too much going on? Am I just overly sensitive to this type of situation? Is there something else bothering me?
Sometimes we all need to go to Time Out and think about what we've done.
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