It feels so good to be doing something about my health again. I feel powerful when I finish the day having met my goals. Have I been perfect every day? Nope. Friday the girls were having a movie night and I ended up getting an extra snack for myself, but I chose to do it. I didn't hide it, I didn't sneak it, and I'm owning the fact that I did it. I ate less than I would have otherwise, and even gave some of it away. And guess what? I don't feel guilty. I don't feel ashamed. I am committed to these changes, so I know it's not going to be a regular thing.
One of the reasons I knew I was ready to start making fitness goals again is because I have been able to eliminate most of the unfounded shame in my life that came from my not living up to personal expectations. Without having first rid myself of that baggage, I would never have been able to do this without making it an obsession. Although what I am eating and drinking is on my mind a lot right now, it's simply receiving a healthy amount of attention while I relearn how to care for this wonderful body that God has given me. I'm not obsessing. I'm not beating myself up. I'm not agonizing or suffering or depriving. I'm nourishing. And wasn't that the point in the first place?
I feel so powerful when I restrain myself from overeating. Here are a few things I have done differently this week that have helped me to feel more healthy:
- I made a batch of cookies tonight. I ate two. 230 calories. And I stayed within my calorie goal for today. I'm seriously not even longing for another. (At least not tonight.)
- I have given up all soda. Even diet. It's not about the calories, it's about my health.
- I was in a position Friday where Maddox and I hadn't eaten lunch, it was after 1pm, and I was headed to the grocery store. Maddox asked for french fries, so I ended stopping at Braums because it was on our way. What did I order? A California cheeseburger. No fries, no soda, no mayo. Just the burger and a water. And if I hadn't gotten the movie candy that night I would have been in my calorie limit for the day.
- Smaller portions at family meals. I know exactly how much I'm going to eat before I start eating, and I don't get seconds.
As I mentioned in my last post, I was going to meet with a friend, Renee. She told me what to do helped me set some goals for this week. Here's a list of what I'm doing and the pros and cons I am experiencing of each:
1800 Calories / day
Pros: This is a great way to get me into healthier eating habits without eroding my self-confidence. Considering I have been eating and drinking whatever I have wanted without thought for nutrition or calories, I have probably been consuming 2500 to 3000 calories per day if not more. 1800 calories may seem like a lot to a dieter, but let's face it here - I'm not dieting! I have noticed that I am also more aware of the nutrition I am getting from my food. If I have a high-calorie breakfast or snack in the morning, I'd better stick to a salad or protein shake for lunch if I want to be able to eat a reasonable dinner with the family. In addition, I want to be able to see a significant number of fruits and vegetables on my food list for the day. I hadn't realized how much I've been skipping those in lieu of junk food or soda. When I have to record everything I eat, I really need to evaluate whether I really want that junk food that so easily comes to hand.
Cons: I do have to track my calories, which is kind of a pain. However, it is much, much easier with apps like My Fitness Pal that will let me in scan bar codes for nutrition information.
Increased water intake (1/2 my weight in oz.)
Pros: Drinking this amount of water does three things for me. First, it helps flush the junk out of my body as I lose weight. Two, I have been chronically dehydrated for months and this is remedying that situation, and improving my carpal tunnel symptoms in the process. Third, when I am drinking this much water it makes it easier for me to kick my soda habit.
Cons: You can probably guess without me saying it, but I have to urinate all day long. Fortunately, it's not getting me up at night. It's also starting to slow down now that my body is getting used to this amount of water again. I just remind myself that it's flushing out toxins so it's worth it.
Exercise 20 min/day at least 5 days/week
Pros: I have started taking evening walks with the kids. I love the spring, love being outside, and love the time I have with them. I also enjoy taking pictures of things I see on my walks. It really helps me appreciate the beauty around me. One day so far it has rained and I haven't been able to go outside. I ended up exercising in my house while watching the kids, and Connor started exercising with me. It's a wonderful sensation to feel my body move and start to get strong again. I'm taking it easy still since I am so out of shape, but it's coming along.
Cons: I got nothin'... there's no down side to this one! Instead, you can just enjoy some of the pictures I've taken this past week.
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