He Heals Me

Image found here.

I'd wager that at some point in everyone's life, there will come a time when there is emotional pain almost too great to bear. Sometimes, especially if we are young when it occurs, we can't handle the pain and shut down emotionally until we are ready to deal with it.

That's what happened to me.

I don't really want to go into details here about my personal history and traumatic experiences, but suffice it to say that I have gone through most of my life living in shades of gray. I'm pleasant and kind and loyal, but I'm not a risk-taker. I try to pick the safest path for me to follow, because I really don't want to get hurt again. I have a hard time trusting others, and even myself.

About 18 months ago, I joined a local support group. I became more self-aware than I had been in years, and it soon became obvious that I would need some personal counseling to work through some of the emotions that were bubbling right beneath the surface. I didn't even know what my issues were, just that I had them.

The scary thing about counseling is that in order for it to be effective, you have to be willing to be honest with yourself and your counselor. And you know that hurt that you buried all those years ago because you weren't ready to deal with it? It comes back. The only way to heal from the pain is...

...to experience it,

...to understand it,

...to release it.

When I started this blog it was with the intent of focusing on those things that nourish in three areas: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Tomorrow is Easter. Tonight as I reflect on the Savior and my personal growth, my I find I am overflowing with love and gratitude. You see, as things would come up in counseling, there were times that I would feel like my heart was breaking - literally. There were times when I did not know whether I could come back from some very dark and painful places.

But through it all, I never felt alone.

Ever.

"Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows." - Isaiah 53:4

"I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you."- John 14:18

"Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved." - Jeremiah 17:14

Not only has He comforted me and helped me heal while I was in counseling, he continues to do so. Life isn't always (or ever?) going to be a bed of roses, and I need Him still.

I will always need Him.

"Here is Hope" by Rob Gardner