Trailing Clouds of Glory

My mind has been full of a lot of different little things over the past week or two. I keep thinking that I want to write about something specific, but then when I sit down and try to organize my thoughts, it doesn't go the direction I want it to, and so I abandon the endeavor. It's kind of annoying, in a way, I'll admit. But perhaps I just wasn't ready to see the big picture. All of these little things on my mind recently - beauty, heartache, loss, financial and emotional struggles, how we treat our families, allowing down-time for myself - have converged into one big Main Idea.

What are we worth?

One of the things I have been able to realize this past year in counseling is how precious I am. I am valuable because I exist, not because of what I can do for others. If I ever start to doubt that, I imagine holding a newborn baby. I can feel their value, their spark of divinity. In the words of William Woodsworth:

Not in entire forgetfulness,

And not in utter nakedness,

But trailing clouds of glory do we come

From God, who is our home:

Regardless of what choices I have made or what I have done with my life, my value has not changed. I am still of infinite worth to that God who created me. I am a miracle.

Unfortunately, life tends to shatter that perception that we have of our own worth. Struggles come, heartaches abound, and sometimes those that should love us the best, treat us the worst. In all of this, is it no wonder that we forget? We feel broken, unlovable, and insignificant. It is the Great Lie that permeates the world around us.

No matter what we do, no matter what choices we make... our value is the same today as it was the day we were born.

How does that change me? Here are some examples:

• When I am frustrated with my children, I remember that they are precious and their hearts are tender. I am trusted with their care. If I don't treat them like they are valued, how will they learn to feel their own worth?
• When I am tired from pushing myself too hard to get things done, I allow myself to lie down on the bed with the clean laundry and take a nap. The laundry doesn't matter so much. I do.
• When I start comparing my physical attributes to those around me, I remember that my body is just a shell. It houses my spirit, but it doesn't define who I am. I can be full of grace and beauty, regardless of my physical attributes.
• When I am frustrated by my finances (or lack thereof), I remember that it is the price I am paying to put my family first. The joys from those relationships will far outweigh and outlast the satisfaction I would gain from being successful in a lucrative career.
• When I ache for the grief of a parent's loss, I realize just how precious I am to my Heavenly Father. I remember that God's healing love can help us move forward and continue on, despite the sorrow.

When I am having an off day, this is how I center myself. This is what I remember. I am precious. I am worth knowing and being and loving. 

And so are you.